Born to and brought up by Hindu parents I was already given a caste,Religion and Ism that comes with it and all the fictional identity to defend.having started my primary school education when I am 3 years old it was boon in disguise for me as I have completed my college education and got job in a reputed organization at the age of 20 years.
All these 16-17 years of education obviously has given me a knowledge about introduction to the society I am living in and it’s history and culture.But was that the real education I am in need of,I always felt may be not.
At times in my life I have been overwhelmed by the world and confused about the purpose of it all. I spent much time in anguish, behaving in self-destructive ways, wondering why happiness was so elusive.In this struggle, I passed many years looking outward for the source of turmoil in my world, trying to tweak, upgrade and replace parts of my life that seemed culpable for my sorrows; Only Books were all there to solace me in that difficult times.
Though I was an avid reader of fiction from college days I picked up non fiction and philosophy this time.Having born and brought up in an orthodox Indian village seen the direct experiences of the untouchability and social class structure supported by Brahmanical ideology Manuwad and the way lower class were treated yet my thoughts were provoked only after I read the riddles of Hinduism and who were the Sudras by B.R Ambedkar. Again the same person has intrigued me to read more about Buddhism with his Buddha and his dharma though I have liked and inspired Buddha’s teaching and initial days of Buddhism but it’s changed a lot to practice these days.The gospel of Buddha by Paul Carus is also a great read to understand Buddha.
This led me back, of course, to where I started, still confused, still unsatisfied, still searching for something that I want to identity with.
By then, I was agnostic liberal who was leaning towards Marxism having read about Karl Marx and his communist manifesto and completely against religion.Here comes the Richard Dawkins with his popular Selfish gene and delusion of god into my life to make me convinced atheist. Nanduri Rammohan Rao’s Naravataram and Viswaroopam are other two great books that supported my conviction towards my atheism.
In this voyage of searching for an ism that let me stay with I had to pass through Ayn Rand’s objectivism which was detailed and supported by Fountainhead and Atlas shrugged. Though I tried to be a complete objectivist like Ram Gopal Varma it didn’t take very long time to realize its a very selfish way of living and came out of it and finally I am introduced to humanism which is built on the rational thought and atheism. Only way to the better and just society that Buddha, Marx, Ambedkar and Periyar ever dreamt of where human rights are preserved and enjoyed by every human being that society is only possible through humanism.
I am thankful to Babu Gogineni for introducing me to the humanism almost an year back and inspiring me to read through Ravipudi venkatadri’s Humanism,M.N Roy’s Radical humanism.
Today I believe I have found the ism that I can stay for life long and claim to be Humanist forever.
And today I announce to the world out there I am disowning the religion and caste that was associated to me without my knowledge and intention. Today with all my understanding of acquired knowledge I tell this world as BG has quoted Atheism is my conclusion and Humanism is my identity.
P:S: Writers who has really contributed to build my perspective towards my life yet not featured in the above article are as follows
Osho,Ranganayakamma,Jiddu Krishnamurti,Tripuraneni Gopichand,Andrei Tarkovsky,Joseph Campbell,Anand Neelakantan,Yandamuri,Sri Sri, Gurram Jashuva and many more.
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